Shopping is fun! Any good shopper knows you have to buy in bulk to get the best deals. You don't purchase your eggs one by one, do you? The same goes for Blackhawk helicopters. Except, when the Army requested 12 last year, I got them a "Senator's dozen" - 19. But that's nothing compared to the 2000 budget, when they got an extra 17 of these high-tech whirlybirds.
And how about some new Virginia-class (NSSN) submarines? They're very useful in case Iran suddenly comes into 10,000 long-range nuclear missiles and our fleet of 80 nuclear subs all run aground at once. They're just a tad over $2 billion each - pocket change to a country like ours rolling in revenue.
Anybody need airplanes? Maybe some C-17 Globemaster IIIs? The military didn't even ask for any of these. But you know how shy they can be. I helped get them 15 in 2002 for only $3.29 billion. They'll find some use for them I'm sure - like carrying around all the extra weapons I get for them every year.
What's the best thing about this shopping trip? I can just pick up all this stuff right here in my home state. Every one of these weapons is manufactured in Connecticut or has major components made here. Even better, while we're stopping off for these weapons systems we can pick up a few donations from their manufacturers. In the 2000 election cycle alone I received $100,700 from defense industry employees and political action committees.
Now we just need a steady supply of countries to use these weapons on. All this military hardware was designed for all-out war with another superpower, not chasing some ragtag militants across the desert in Toyota 4x4's. But by supporting Defense Export Loan Guarantees and other, less direct aid to countries around the world, we're ensuring that even the most fly-by-night regional powers can afford to purchase (with our cash) the most destructive weapons ever produced.
Happy shopping!
